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[Puffin]

http://myfallfromgrace.net/?p=725
 
 
 

 What PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbin

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweatpants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly, Men Stink

12. Pack My Stuff

13. Potential Murder Suspect

[Amidala]

I vote for #3 :-)

[Kimmi]

[color=rgb(0, 51, 51)]2. Psychotic Mood Shift [/color]

[NightmarePatrol]

Hey, you forgot "pummel my spouse"

[Puffin]

[lifefeedsonlife]

Particularly Muddled Synapses

[Puffin]

A little something about those that serve us!!!!
 
Heaven or Hell?

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the man.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up . What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the senator.
"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.  They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
"Now it's time to visit heaven."
So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."
The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.
"I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable.  What happened?"
The devil looks at him, smiles and says,

"Yesterday we were campaigning..................... Today you voted."

[E-L Man]

I am so happy that he got what he wanted. We get the same thing from THEM!

[Puffin]

This is not technically public service. This incident was a "Darwin 2009  winner", which recognizes those who have contributed the most to the human race by removing themselves from the gene pool.
  Double Dip [size=-1]
2009 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin [/size] 

(3 June 2009, North Carolina) Greensboro was innundated with four inches of pouring rain in two hours, stranding several cars on flooded roads. Rosanne T., 50, was not deterred. She hopped on her moped and drove to a convenience store where she "possibly had a beer," according to her mother, before deciding to blunder home through the storm. She phoned home to say, "My moped has two rubber wheels, Mom, I'll be fine."  North Carolina does not require a license to own a moped. Ms. T. had acquired hers two years previously after a DUI conviction.  The Highway Patrol had blocked off several roads that were inundated with water, including Rosanne's path home. But she rode right past the officer and the barriers, lost control of her vehicle, and fell into the swollen creek below. The officer retrieved rope from his vehicle and proceeded to haul her from the water.  He then interviewed the woman, probably inquiring about her motivation for speeding through a roadblock during a flash flood. When the officer returned to his patrol car to call for assistance, Rosanne took the opportunity to escape--by jumping back into the creek!  The officer attempted to rescue her again, but alas, it was too late.  The victim's mother speculated that her daughter's motivation for jumping into a flooded creek was to rescue her drowning moped. "She loved that thing."

[Puffin]

this was an add for share-the -harvest in NYC.
30 seconds.
 

City Harvest - apples

[Zipper]

That was a lot of apples just to make the commercial.
 
 
 

[Puffin]

I know, I wonder if those were ones that they couldn't even feed to the homeless. Maybe from China or sumthin.

[lifefeedsonlife]

Some pretty good CGI!

[NightmarePatrol]

This guy needs a woman, know anybody looking for a man? He seems stable enough...

Looking for a Girlfriend

[precisionpest]

that kid probly gets more dates than i do!!!!!!!!!!!!! in 20-30 yrs "when " this kid gets 1,000,000 dollars a new truck may cost that much!!!